Couch Time

I mentioned "couch time" in relationship to my summer goals on my Twitter feed (@stewardess), and Mary (@ILoveMyBirdTim) asked for more info.

There isn't much to say. In fact, I didn't even invent the idea, nor do I really know much about it. Like most things I know about I learned (read: stole) from someone else. I think Krista mentioned having couch time with her husband at a CCGNO event and I just ran with what I figured it meant.

Our couch time consists of 30 mins. to an hour spent together doing nothing. We have no distractions (computer, phone, TV) and just focus on each other. The first week we talked. The second week we solved a problem together. This'll be our third week in a row! Traditions have to start somewhere, right?

(For more info see Krista. She and her husband won "best couple" for their commitment to things like couch time. Impressive!)

Edit: Awesome article from the Love & Respect Facebook page about "face-to-face" and "shoulder-to-shoulder" time.
https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=10150212146502849

3 Days Left!

Throwing Rice

Pelting newlyweds with uncooked starchy vegetables is a time-honored tradition meant to shower the new couple with prosperity, fertility and, of course, good fortune. Oats, grains and dried corn were also used before rice rose to the top as the preferred symbolic sprinkle. Rice lost its popularity when it became widely rumored that if birds ate the rice, it would expand in their stomach and kill them. This is decidedly untrue, as is evidenced by the fact that birds eat dried rice and corn and other dehydrated vegetables and grains from fields all the time and we have yet to see any mention of a national, exploding-bird epidemic running on the CNN news ticker.Rice can be a hazard to guests, who can lose their footing on rice covered pavement and take a nasty spill. Turns out, even rice alternatives have their drawbacks. Two Texas women were badly injured at a wedding in May 2008 while trying to light celebratory sparklers to send off the bride and groom. The group of sparklers ignited all at once and exploded, burning one woman’s face and both of their arms. One guest at a Russian wedding in Chechnya last March decided to buck tradition altogether and threw an armed hand grenade into the unsuspecting crowd, injuring a dozen people. Our advice? Stick with rose petals. They are soft, non-hazardous, non-lethal and biodegradable.

FYI: I'm not paying money so you'll have something to throw at me. If you want to throw money, go ahead!

These Are a Few of My Favorite Foods

Finally, a tradition I can get my taste buds behind! Not so keen about some of the origins/traditions (trust me, I'm not saving the top for a year. I'm eating that puppy that night!)associated w/ the cake, but I am in favor of cake. Yes indeedy! In fact, it's my favorite food. Well, wedding cake, anyway!

The Wedding Cake

We have to believe that there was a time, somewhere in history, when the whole, “Will they/won’t they smash cake in each other’s faces!” scenario was actually clever and original (even if we couldn’t find any evidence of it). What we did find was the granddaddy predecessor to cake-face-smashing: the breaking of baked goods over the bride’s head. Customarily, the groom would gnaw off a bite of barley bread and then the remainder of the loaf was held above the newlywed bride’s head and then broken, showering her with crumbs and a soul-crushing message of her husband’s male dominance. Guests would then scramble to pick up any wayward crumbs off the floor as they were said to bring good…wait for it… luck!This tradition evolved as cake emerged as the preferred confection for wedding celebrations. Fortunately for the bride, a whole cake doesn’t break in two quite as dramatically as a loaf of bread and so it was sliced on a table instead. Rather than scrounge for lucky crumbs on the floor, guests would stand in line while the bride passed tiny, fortune-blessed morsels of cake through her own wedding ring into the hands of the waiting masses. This act also fell by the wayside, as we can only assume the bride determined that it was a lousy waste of her time. Thus began the tradition of giving out whole slices of cake to each guest, not to be eaten, but to be placed under their pillow at night for (yup, here it is again) good luck and, for the ladies, sweet dreams of their future husbands.
Refusing to Throw Away the Leftovers
This leads to another sweet, delicious, buttercream-iced mystery to be solved: Why do couples eat freezer-burned wedding cake on their one-year anniversary? To answer this, we must look to the lyrics of a schoolyard classic: First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage! It used to be assumed that when there was a wedding, a christening would follow shortly. So, rather than bake two cakes for the occasions, they’d just bake one big one and save a part of it to be eaten at a later date when the squealing bundle of joy arrived. Eventually folks warmed to the idea of giving the poor kid his own, newly baked cake, but the custom of saving a portion of the wedding cake far longer than it should be saved and then eating it and deluding oneself to believe that it actually tastes good is one that persists to this day.

Tradition courtsey of http://www.mentalfloss.com/

The Great Debate

Hillary Rodham Clinton

Sandra Day O'Connor

Timilyn Towers Downey

Timilyn Renee Downey

Timilyn Renee Towers Downey

Cyrus Towers

I'm Sticking to Chocolate and Strawberry: Beautiful and Delicious

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue (and a Sixpence in My Shoe?)
A common theme that you’ve no doubt noticed throughout this post: humans used to be a superstitious bunch. This rhyming phrase neatly lists a number of English customs dating back to the Victorian age which, when worn in combination, should bring the bride oodles of fabulous good luck. The something old was meant to tie the bride to her family and her past, while the something new represented her new life as the property of a new family. The item borrowed was supposed to be taken from someone who was already a successfully married wife, so as to pass on a bit of her good fortune to the new bride. The color blue (Virgin Mary-approved!) stood for all sorts of super fun things like faithfulness, loyalty, and purity. The sixpence, of course, was meant to bring the bride and her new groom actual, cold, hard fortune. Just in case that wasn’t enough, brides of yore also carried bunches of herbs (which most brides now replace with expensive, out-of-season peonies) to ward off evil spirits.

via http://www.mentalfloss.com/ (again)

The Tradition Behind the Debacle

Garter and Bouquet Toss

This pair of rituals has long been the scourge of the modern wedding guest. What could possibly be more humiliating than being forced out to the center of a parquet dance floor while a wedding DJ advertises your lack of a boyfriend and then being expected to further demonstrate your desperation by diving for flying flowers? Wait…. Yup, we can top that. How about grasping in the air for a lacy piece of undergarment that until moments ago resided uncomfortably close to the crotch of your buddy’s wife? At any other point in time, that would make you a total perv, so why is it acceptable at a wedding? Well, hold on to your scruples boys and girls, because the history behind these customs is downright dirty.
It used to be that after the bride and groom said, “I do,” they were to go immediately into a nearby room and “close the deal” and consummate the marriage. Obviously, to really make it official, there would need to be witnesses, which basically led to hordes of wedding guests crowding around the bed, pushing and shoving to get a good view and hopefully to get their hands on a lucky piece of the bride’s dress as it was ripped from her body. Sometimes the greedy guests helped get the process going by grabbing at the bride’s dress as she walked by, hoping for a few threads of good fortune. In time, it seems, people realized that this was all a bit, well… creepy, and it was decided that for modesty’s sake the bride could toss her bouquet as a diversion as she made her getaway and the groom could simply remove an item of the bride’s undergarments and then toss it back outside to the waiting throngs to prove that he was about to, uh, get ‘er done.

Bouquet Debacle

Ok, team, I need you to put on your thinking caps and help me solve this one.
In this very non-traditional wedding we're not using the traditional flowers as decoration. None anywhere whatsoever.
I'm cool w/ it. I know nothing about flowers anyway, so it's actually easier.
Well, easier except for the traditional bridal bouquet.
I don't yet have an alternative.
If I were Catholic, I'd just carry my rosary, or if I were an old maid, I'd carry my cat.
But these don't apply. I need something I can carry and possibly throw to the next bride-to-be w/ out damaging the recepient or the floor when she dodges it (I know, the complete works of Shakespeare is definitely out).
Do you have any ideas?
I guess I'm understanding why some of the traditions are in place. They're just easier!

Not Really My Idea of a Party

The Wedding Party

Talk about your runaway brides—the original duty of a “Best Man” was to serve as armed backup for the groom in case he had to resort to kidnapping his intended bride away from disapproving parents. The “best” part of that title refers to his skill with a sword, should the need arise. (You wouldn’t want to take the “just okay” member of your weapon-wielding posse with you to steal yourself a wife, would you?)
The best man stands guard next to the groom right up through the exchange of vows (and later, outside the newlyweds’ bedroom door), just in case anyone should attack or if a non-acquiescent bride should try to make a run for it. It’s said that feisty groups like the Huns, Goths and Visigoths took so many brides by force that they kept a cache of weapons stored beneath the floorboards of churches for convenience. Modern-day best men are more likely to store an emergency six-pack at the ceremony for convenience, but the title remains an apt one.
Ladies—believe it or not, the concept of the bridesmaid’s gown was not invented to inflict painful dowdiness upon the bride’s friends and female relatives thus making the bride look hotter by comparison. Historically, that dress you’ll never wear again was actually selected with the purpose of tricking the eye of evil spirits and jealous ex-lovers (spicy!). Brides’ faithful attendants were instructed to wear a dress similar to that of the bride so that during their group stroll to the church it would be hard for any ill-willed spirits or former boy-toys to spot the bride and curse/kidnap/throw rocks at her. (Ditto for the boys in matching penguin suits, saving the groom from a similar fate.) Memo to the Maid of Honor: if you think organizing a themed shower complete with quiche, cupcakes and creative uses of toilet paper as a game is a tough gig, imagine this: MoH’s of old used to be responsible for making nearly all of the wedding decorations and putting them up herself.

~borrowed from Mental Floss again: http://www.mentalfloss.com/

_____________________________

I guess we already know my thoughts on this one, seeing as how we have no wedding party in this sense. Only the party that you're attending! Good food, good friends, good times. I guess I'm not scared of a run-away groom (I'm definitely not going anywhere!) or evil spirits on this occasion. As for the ugly dresses, well, no one will be as beautiful as me, anyway, that's why I'm willing to let them try. Although, if I don't get in touch w/ a hair stylist soon, this may change!

Wedding Traditions Part Deux

Giving Away the Bride
Remember that “Women’s Studies” class you considered taking in college? Allow us to summarize what you would have learned: All of our society’s gender issues stem from the fact that fathers once used their daughters as currency to a) pay off a debt to a wealthier land owner, b) symbolize a sacrificial, monetary peace offering to an opposing tribe or c) buy their way into a higher social strata. So next time you tear up watching a beaming father walk his little girl down the aisle, remember that it’s just a tiny, barbaric little hold over from the days when daughters were nothing but dollar signs to daddy dearest. And that veil she’s wearing? Yeah, that was so the groom wouldn’t know if he was stuck with an uggo until it was time to kiss the bride and too late to back out on the transaction. (There is also some superstitious B.S. about warding off evil spirits, but we think you’ll agree that hiding a busted grill from the husband-to-be is a more practical purpose.)

We are partaking in this one, only I'm having both parents walk me down the aisle. I haven't decided what their answer to the question, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" will be, but it will probably resemble the answer Daddy gave when Cube asked permission in the first place, "It's her decision." Maybe Mama says, "Her Father and I do." That seems fitting, especially since she's always said, "She's all mine and part Daddy's," since I was born. Or maybe the question isn't asked at all. I mean, who ever pauses to see if anyone objects to the union of the happy couple anymore? That's just a YouTube horror video waiting to happen!

Any suggestions?

Tradishuuuun! Tradition! (sung to the tune from Fiddler on the Roof)

The White Wedding DressTechnically, today’s wedding gowns aren’t white. They are “Candlelight,” “Warm Ivory,” “Ecru” or “Frost.” But there was a time when a bride’s wedding attire was simply the best thing in her closet (talk about “off the rack”), and could be any color, even black. To convince her groom that she came from a wealthy family, brides would also pile on layers of fur, silk and velvet, as apparently grooms didn’t care if his wife-to-be reeked of sweaty B.O. as long as she was loaded. It was dear ol’ Queen Victoria (whose reign lasted from 1837-1901) who made white fashionable. She wore a pale gown trimmed in orange blossoms for her 1840 wedding to her first cousin, Prince Albert. Hordes of royal-crazed plebeians immediately began to copy her, which is an astonishing feat considering that People Magazine wasn’t around to publish the Super Exclusive Wedding Photos, or instruct readers on how to Steal Vicki’s Hot Wedding Style.

~Stolen from http://www.mentalfloss.com/

Incidently, this is not the reason I'm wearing royal purple at my party.