This post is very similar to one posted by my good friend
Hot Sauce over at red-delicious.org.
She wants to know the meaning of the word "good" when used to describe how you are. (Never mind the fact that the correct answer is "well.")
My conundrum is how to answer the question, "How's married life?"
To sum up my last 50 days with one word (either "good/well") seems incomplete. What do these people expect me to say? I mean, it's been 50 days. We're still in the honeymoon phase. What could possibly go wrong in the first 50 days? And if it did, would I really want to tell this questioner I'm already considering divorce? "It's horrible! I wish I'd never done it. He snores, leaves his dirty underwear all over the place and never helps with the dishes!" That would be embarrassing for both of us.
As would the truth. Do they expect me to give details of my day, or more specifically my
nights? I'm not even willing to type details on this blog that only my close personal friends read (along w/ anyone else on the Internet who might accidentally find me by typing in "hot sex" in Google); I'm certainly not describing it to someone who asks me, "How's married life?"
I'm guessing they don't really want an answer at all; just like the folks who ask, "How are ya?" expecting you to say "good," and freaking out if you start crying becasue your dad just ran over your dog Joey, twice. (True story).
All they really want to hear is "Good." But I won't play their little game. Oh no. I'm preempting their question and asking
them, "How's married life?" Of course my question is less fair, becasue they've been married for 20-45 years. How can they possibly sum that lifetime up into one word? But they do! Can you believe it? They've been "good" for 45 years! (Not that I really want to know either; I'm just hoping to point out the absurdity of their question. If they don't know how to answer it, maybe they'll stop answering.) Which is way better than being "so-so, or uh..fine." It makes me sad to know that on average they rate their marriage so low.
What's worse is the folks who won't answer. They put me off with a comment about being married so long it doesn't matter, or just wave their hand or roll their eyes. These are the people I almost want to talk to more so I can maybe remind them of how in love they once were, how optimisitc, how they held on to his every word. Maybe they're the ones we should be asking; the ones we should be checking on. My 50 day old marriage is going great, and I hope it will still be in 100 days and (Lord willing) 50 years.
You might think I'm naieve to think it will be, but I know the secret: hot sex!